SOMETHING IS COMING :)

NEW POSTS
NEW CLIPPINGS
NEW THOUGHTS :)

Simple questions?

I was just walking out of my Weather test about 3 minutes ago, when a stranger with a clipboard stopped me. I immediately sighed inside and prepped myself for the awkward let down I was already planning in my mind. With An excuse already formed, he spoke before I could, his voice was gentle and honest. I let down my guard and quickly eyed the page he had clipped down, it had 6 or seven questions on it. I could do this.

1. Who do you take advice from?
My parents, and my friends

2. What do you think is the biggest problem in the world.
Oh sheesh, what do I say to this guy? Do I give the pageant answer of "World Hunger"? No. I said Inequality.

3. What do you think could be done to resolve this problem?
Realizing that we're all alike, and our differences make us stronger, they shouldn't separate us.

4. What in your life do you want to change?
My god, is there a non-conceited answer to this? haha. I replied with, "My lack of knowledge" Great, now I sound like an idiot. "...I would like to know more, because as much as I think I know, there is so much more that I need to know.

5. What in your life is going well?
What is going well? Well I replied with, "My studies as an Artist"

6. What do you see as the best part of your future?
This one struck me hard, and I didn't really know how to respond simply. I just said, "My ability to freely express myself as an artist"

How would you answer these?

Regina Spektor vs. Tori Amos

So I've been asked a lot who I prefer, Regina Spektor or Tori Amos. The answer is quite clear, in my opinion: Tori Amos.

Now hey, before you look away, and automatically assume I'm going to start bashing Regina Spektor, you might want to consider reading this.

Let me start by saying that I appreciate both of these women and their ability to create unique and beautiful music. I've also been up for more than 18 hours, so this may be incoherent ramblings that will need fixing later.

To the meat. . . (or tofu? :] )

        Although I don't like stereotyping or placing genre's on music, I do find them to be convenient vehicle for a musical review. I think perhaps the only things that might put these two in the same area of the music spectrum is that they both play a piano, write their own lyrics, and sing. Although they are similar in these regards, they differ quite largely at a closer look.

        Tori Amos has a truly unique vocal style, which includes a lot of almost nasal-style vocals, and long notes that play on the break of her lower and upper range. Amos tends to rely heavily on her strength as a pianist, and also uses non-traditional vocal styles, as demonstrated in "Iieee". She utilizes that seductive femininity in her voice mixed with her own vocal production (which I'll address later) Regina Spektor's stylings, like Amos' are also unique, in that they also tend to break songstress norms, like that of other contemporary pianists (A Fine Frenzy, Kate Nash, Fiona Apple, etc.) Spektor utilizes her ability to create sounds with her voice, as displayed in songs like, "Somedays" and "Lounge". They create a bizarre infusion that are reminiscent of Amos' blatant ethereal oddness. As I grew up, I listened to a lot of Tori Amos, as it was readily available. Amos became popular in the late 80's and throughout much of the 90's with hits like "Cornflake Girl" and "God", which I often heard on days that my mom would clean the house. These songs are refreshing to me and quite strong.

        Another way that the two pianist differ stylistically is within their own genre. Amos, like Madonna, attempts to push the boundaries of her musical arsenal by shifting styles from album to album. She began as a soft-spoken pianist with a crushingly honest debut album, "Little Earthquakes", which houses two my personal favorites, "Winter" and "Silent All These Years". She shifts to a more electronically influenced album with "(Songs) From The Choir-girl Hotel", before shifting back to her outspoken fiery red-headed self on "Under the Pink" wherein she refers to Lucifer as her father. Her debut album, "Little Earthquakes" may be the closest to Spektor's style, in that it's simple, honest, and focuses mainly on her ability to accompany a piano so skillfully. The album itself sounds nothing like Spektor though. I'd say Amos' "American Doll Posse" would maybe hold over the Spektor fan. It's a more modern approach at a style Amos has mastered. The album itself is more upbeat, and brought Amos back into the mainstream, with bubbly hits like "Bouncing Clouds" that conjure up Spektor's "On The Radio" but misses the train towards pop with the rhythmic shift of the dual piano playing (a skill that Spektor never uses, or so I'm not aware of).

        Spektor utilizes her lower range, and hooks on the to the pop mainstream in surefire hits like, "The Calculation" and "Fidelity" but she has a pure and honest voice that makes songs like "Eet" so Spektacular :) Amos's voice to me sounds like its in her nasal passage, or higher up in her throat, and it works for her, and I don't think it would for Regina. Regina has a deeper voice, and to me I imagine an O shape formed in her mouth, and its very rich and full. Tori is the original Goth who's recent album "Abnormally Attracted to Sin" and is drenched in the sludge of emotion in songs like, "Abnormally Attracted to Sin", however Regina too can be somber, but with a much less dramatic approach. Spektor's music is much less metaphorical at times, but it works for her. In songs like "Eet" lyrics like,

"Someone's deciding whether or not to steal.
He opens a window just to feel the chill.
He hears that outside a small boy just started to cry
'Cause it's his turn, but his brother won't let him try.

These lyrics are simple, but they cause a bond between Spektor and the listener. Perhaps because she so simplistically, and skillfully paints a picture in our heads.

        I'm not sure I'm really getting anywhere with this, but I meant to aim in the direction that although I prefer Tori Amos over Regina Spektor, I find them to be equally great in their own ways, but I had to have some reasoning behind it. I'm going to stop rambling, and I'll also probably edit this later on...

So I was bumming around the net and I found this post from Amy Lee,

I've been sitting here reading through so many of these questions and comments in the "Ask me" thread... trying to find one I haven't answered and want to... I guess I just want to say thanks for making me feel good. Ha. Its really nice to know so many of you miss the music and want to know when you'll hear it again. I've gotten to the point where I'm working on it almost every day (night I should say). I'm in love with it. Enough to fight for it. Enough to reopen the door to a world of chaos even though it scares me. I don't want to give away too much about what it will sound like, because so much will change before the end, but its... not what you would expect. Its definitely not happy married music, but its not like I'm dying the whole time either. Its dark, sarcastic, fun, strange, familiar and very different at the same time. It makes me feel alive and I wish I could show you right now. If you were here, at my house, I would pour you a drink and we would turn it up really loud and rock out to it, and I know you would love it. Thank you everyone who has said their lives were touched by the music. It touches my life too, and so do you, in many ways.

Somebody asked how it made me feel when someone tells me the music changed their life. It makes me feel like I'm not crazy. It feels wonderful.

Also somebody asked why I talk about blood so much, complete with quite a few lyric quotes. It made me laugh. I promise to offer slightly less blood on the next album. Slightly.

Last but not least, I often get asked about band members, the whole "is it a band, is it solo, etc" (understandably! There have been quite a few). Everyone who has ever been a part of Evanescence is a part of its story, a part of its soul. From day 1 it has been a collaborative effort and different people have contributed over the years. But it is more than just people. It's something that has taken on its own life, it has grown, changed and become more interesting, more soulful, more honest than a perfect image will allow. The passion is what makes it live on, the obsessive focus on straight up, head first, love for the music. That is my band. And against all obstacles I'm sticking to it.

See you guys soon!

love,
Amy

First off I should be paying attention in Bio class and not surfing the net (or blogging, for that matter) , but I've already taken the equivalent of 4 years of biology, so I think studying later will be fine. I'm mostly here for clicker points, ahaha.

I'm super tired today, but I'm trying to make the best of things. Yesterday was a pretty stressful day, I feel that I need to pay attention to how I'm reacting toward other people. I was pretty rude to most of my co-workers (including Erica) but I felt a total lack of respect toward my abilities (and duties) as a Head Clerk yesterday. I'm really quite tired of all the drama that goes around work. I've decided that I will not be talking to anyone at work about problems or issues that I'm having, besides Syeda. I can't trust anyone, and I certainly cant trust the managers that I thought I could trust.

My sister broke up with her boyfriend, and I'm kind of relieved for her? I'm not sure. Keita was great to her, but I respect her decision, and especially respect her opinion in the matter.

We went to see Paranormal Activity, pretty good movie! It is rated R, and my sister is only 16, but she still bought the ticket. The bitch at the ticket stand then asked to see ID's even though she bought the ticket. So she wouldn't let her in. We just her walk around to the exit of the theater, and then snuck her in the exit, haha. Fuck you.

My life is like a whirring torrent of stress, tension, and depression lately. What's wrong with me? I'm not quite sure, but I need a change. I cut off my bangs, and went from looking like this:

to this:


So it's pretty drastic. I feel handsome and older.

I thought about cutting last night, and it was such a blast from the past. I thought I was over that feeling. I decided to gulp down some tension tamer tea from Katie, and go to bed instead. I'm not even happy in my dreams. In my dreams I fail to do simple tasks.

I just hope I can get over this.

On a side note, my scarf and new jacket made a badass/cute combo. :)

Sheesh talk about a hectic last two days...
Last night I worked from 11-8 in the store as a manager, which means I got to wear my white shirt and nifty blue tie that I absolutely love. After I got off, I went directly home, to eat, sleep, and then come back in at 4 AM. It was pretty rough, but I had set myself up for an easy open, so that made things nice. I was really happy to be done with book-keeping in 2 hours and 25 minutes, my fastest yet! I was cruising!
I totally was not feeling inspired enough to head to my 3.5 hour art class, so I e-mailed my professor and told him I wasn't feeling well. Thanks swine flu? I feel only a little guilty for lying to him, but not really, he's honestly quite a terrible instructor. I really hope that he learns how to teach an art class better in the future.
I will have to be ready for my art critique on Wednesday, but we really do not have ANYTHING to show for ourselves, so I'm wondering how that will turn out...
I'm having some issues with people at work. Megan has become most unbearable lately. She's so on and off, and very short fused. I really do like working with her, but she's hurt my feelings quite a bit the last few days. Let me quote a note I've received from her:

Nate,
On a more positive note, I do appreciate all your hard work. I know you strive to do your best. Just don't let everyone make you feel like you have to be me. Be yourself - be the booth clerk I know you can be- get your spark back. Be a great backup, ignore all extra stuff.

It's almost a nice letter, but it's very bittersweet at the same time. I sort of appreciate it, but I feel like it's mostly an attempt to manipulate and back-pad her own ego. It hurts my feelings, and I don't appreciate it one bit.
I'm so tired, I can't believe I'm still up. I'm going to lay down and listen to some Plumb, I'm totally in love with her music as of late.

New blog = Fresh Approach?

> So as you may have guessed, I've gotten myself a new blog. I'm quite happy with the simplistic black layout that they had available. I have always wanted to keep a blog, and let out my feelings into it.
> I used to have a LiveJournal (http://xshadowsongx.livejournal.com/), however I never really kept up with actual, meaningful posts. I remember getting it in the beginning of high school when my friend Marie told me about it. I basically used it because I thought it was cool, but most of my posts just sought attention from others, and it became really boring and relentless after a while. If you're a LJ user, don't get me wrong, I loved the interface and the fact that they let you customize so much, but I just didn't click with it as much as I'd liked.
> So I'm guessing you've already noticed the title of my blog, eh? I mean it is huge, and placed right at the top of the page, so it's only logical that you've actually stopped, read, and digested it. I was trying to think of a good title, and it just came to me. My life (as far as I am concerned, and my opinion about my life is the most important one right? It is mine) is pretty complex, much like a symphony and often elements of my life are quite tragic as well. Perhaps we will get into that later, but I'm not sure if this will go anywhere, let's hope!
> So I'm currently sitting in my room, drinking a nice cold Coca Cola, and listening to some Otep while thinking exactly what I want to say to you, the reader. Things have been pretty chaotic lately. I've been going non-stop. I'm working approximately 30 hours a week while going to school 12 hours, plus homework, outside work for art, and you know, sleeping (if I actually get the chance to). It's pretty hectic, as I need to be working 30+ hours a week to make sure I make enough to pay for my schooling, my car insurance, my car payment, and my cellphone bill.
> I don't like to sound like I'm complaining though, so I don't want to go on forever about that. The days do kill me, though. I get up at 3 a.m for work at 4 a.m., where I push myself to do an 8 hour job in less than 4, so that I can be out of work by 8 a.m.. I then head home where I work on homework, study, shower, maybe nap for about 20 minutes, and then head to school, where I've got back to back classes until 7:20 p.m., when I am dismissed from Drawing II. I drive home, in a zombie like fashion (mind you I've been up for 16 hours by this time) and I typically don't get into bed until around 9-10 p.m. I rinse, and repeat... It get's to be very draining, and when I don't have school I am usually work 8-9 hour shifts. I typically have about one day off a week (Friday) which of course, I still have class. I am tired, and quite annoyed by people saying, "Oh, you're young, you can do it." Yes this statement is true, but it is not encouraging nor is it supportive.
> Anyway, enough about that. I've actually set aside some free time tonight, and I'm soaking it up. I went to Target and got a nice comfy black hoodie for 15 bucks! I couldn't find one in my size in the mens, so I had to buy the smallest sized one from the Juniors section. Yes it's true, I am thin, and I like to wear clothes that are slim fit / not baggy. The mens section did have a small, but I was pretty much still swimming in it. The one I got is super comfy inside! I plan to use it for work, because we have to wear entirely black outwear over our uniforms if it gets colder, you can't wear anything with a design / pattern. This one is simple, so it does it's job!
> I guess it might be helpful to say where I work, or what I do. I work for Safeway (www.safeway.com), a multi-million dollar corporate grocery chain that is most popular on the west coast. I was hired almost 3 years ago to be a customer service representative / fuel station attendant. Basically I worked the desk at the front of the store that handles all the refunds, exchanges, and other services provided by the store that didn't have to do with ringing up your groceries. It's actually quite a demanding position, you sink or swim immediately. Thankfully I swam.
> Customer service clerks start at a meager $7.79 hourly, only 54¢ greater than the national minimum wage (I think. Minimum wage is $7.25) Not too shabby, I suppose for a junior in high school. It was nice to have my own money. On top of handling refunds and exchanges (which are not so simple when you work for a huge corporation, the rules are always changing and becoming more and more ridiculous) I had to learn how to rent rug cleaners to customers, sell money orders, handle Western Union money transfers, issue rain checks, and the different brands of tobacco and whatnot. It was very stressful, now I could do it in my sleep.
> About 5 months ago I started training to become a backup / assistant book-keeper for the store. I was really excited about this, and I still am. I've actually love doing the book-keeping (even more so when things are done correctly the day before, but they typically aren't, so I've got a nack for problem solving). I realize I tend to use a lot of parenthesize. Oh well.
> Book-keeping is really demanding, and often can be really stressful, and it definitely requires you to be quick and accurate when counting and handling large quantities of money (I typically handle ≥$16,000).
> Enough about work, what was I getting to about that anyway? Perhaps it was just an explanation because I'm constantly asked what exactly it is I do.
Anyway, I don't think there is actually much more that I intend to discuss (at least in this entry), so with that, I'll conclude my post.

<3